Ledi by Kim Trainor

Paperback, read February 2019

I tried reading this book first very soon after my friend committed suicide. I tried to read this book in the midst of trauma – not grief – and when I tried to read it then, in the midst of trauma, it didn’t land. But now almost seven months later I have tried to read it again and I have read it in the midst of grief, coming out the other side of trauma (as much as we ever come out the other side of trauma). And I found a lot of solace in the book: I found a lot of beauty and solidarity, and I think I found them now because they are only just now occurring to me. It is only just now occurring to me that this person is gone, that all we have of this person is what they left behind, that all we will ever have of this person is what they were. And that is a horrible thing to be coming to terms with, and I’m coming to terms with it for the first time, and I’m grateful to this book and I’m grateful to this poet. I’m grateful that I am not the only person who has done this.