On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden

Graphic novel, read October 2019

Tillie Walden’s graphic novel On a Sunbeam feels so, so good. It feels like a soft, slow breath of clear air to read for fun again after being overwhelmed by my Master’s program, but also Walden’s books are a slice of heckin’ magic. On a Sunbeam is sweet, swift, gorgeous, and so beautifully queer; my heart feels at home, at ease among her pages, and I only wish my little teenage self had found books like this.

Sometimes I get caught up. Just, generally: caught up in what impression I might be making, in how well I seem to be doing, in what-if and what-now. I come unmoored easily, because I’m insecure about my own personality, intelligence, value, and so on. I impose these arbitrary rules or punishments on myself: if you don’t have the capacity to read a challenging novel, you don’t deserve to read anything at all! In an attempt at balance, time management, and motivation, I cut myself off at the knees, then get obsessed over why an obstacle is suddenly insurmountable. But I have to remember: it is okay to stop for a moment, even when the world doesn’t, and dare to enjoy the softness where you can find it.